Our crazy beautiful life

I feel like my life is one big rush, but the days are passing quickly. It's hard to juggle splitting time among Aliyah and Jayden, but I'm doing it! Bryan went back to work last Monday, so I've been on my own. I am recovering pretty good, still a little sore & swollen, but over all I'm doing good & I've only had a couple mental breakdowns ;).

I've been trying to do things with Aliyah like we did before so she doesn't feel left out. She has been really clingy & having more tantrums lately, which I knew was going to happen. She understands that jayden is in the hospital and he gets to come home when he gets bigger & better, but I don't think she truly understands that he will be LIVING with us & that she will have to share her mommy, daddy, grandparents & her house with him. That might come as a shock to her!

Jayden is doing so good. I am amazed by him, as are all of the nurses and doctors. He has a large opening in one of the arteries of his heart which caused him to have a slight murmer. The doctors aren't too concerned about it right now because he is not showing any signs of it bothering him. Hopefully it will just close on its own. If he starts showing any symptoms of it, he will need surgery. So fingers crossed! Other than that, he hasn't had any major changes. He is up to 2 pounds 5 ounces as of today, and is now taking a 1/2 of an ounce of breast milk! That may seem like a small amount, but it's alot for his little belly. He is changing every day & is so precious. I spend about 3 or 4 hours with him a day & I get to hold him the majority of the time. Bryan held him for the very first time yesterday. He was scared & didn't move the whole time, but it was precious

This whole thing has made our marriage so much stronger. I have definitely fallen in love all over again. I am so lucky to have such a great husband to love & co parent with. He is my best friend

We cannot wait to take jayden home & live a normal life again! Hoping the days, weeks, and months go by quickly so we can have our family all together

Introducing baby Jayden

This passed week has been an emotional roller coaster.

I'll start from where it all began. Monday, February 20 I woke up for work and my face, hands and feet were extremely swollen. I didn't really think much about it and went to work. I sent pictures to my mom and aunt and of course they were freaking out and told me I needed to go to the hospital. I went to work for a couple of hours. By this point I was light headed and started to see spots. I called Bryan and he met me at banner gateway hospital around 7:45 am. They checked my blood pressure and immediately sent me back to a room. Everyone appeared to be very concerned at this point. My blood pressure was abnormally high. They started doing tests and foud that I had a +3 level of protein in my urine as well as high blood pressure. This meant my liver was not working like it should be. I was also having chest pains. They took me to do a CT scan to see if i had any blood clots in my lungs and thankfully I did not. They put the baby on the monitors and he appeared to be doing just fine. They continued to do more and more tests and finally determined that I had preeclampsia. I had no idea how serious this was. I thought they were just going to send me home on bed rest. Boy was I wrong.

The nurses came in and started talking about maybe having to deliver the baby today because of my condition. By this point I was starting to freak out. They said they were going to call an ambulance and transfer me to banner desert because the nurses and doctors there are more certified to handle these types of circumstances. the ambulance came and got me around 5 pm and took me to banner desert. I was put into a labor and delivery room and doctors and nurses came in to talk to me about preeclampsia and everything that could possibly go wrong. They said they were going to keep me in labor and delivery on case they had to deliver the baby that night.

Bryan spent the night with me, and got up and went to work the next day. Being away from Aliyah was extremely hard and all I could do was cry. I had no idea how long I was going to be in the hospital or what was going to happen to me
Or the baby. I was so scared. So Tuesday passed, my blood pressure remained high. They did a blood test and my platelettes were low, but they didn't seem too concerned. I was given two doses of steroids to make Jaydens lungs develop faster in case he needed to be delivered. I also had an ultra sound and he was monitored 24/7. Jayden appeared to be doing fine, and under no stress. My body was just rejecting him. The doctors said the only cure to preeclampsia was delivery.

Wednesday came and everything stayed the same except that my platelettes were even lower and my blood pressure was high, but again they didn't seem too concerned at this point.

Thursday, they did another blood test and another ultra sound. I felt okay and Bryan went home this afternoon to let Aliyah play and he did some laundry: so I was by myself. The doctor came in around 6pm and informed me that my platelettes dropped a lot and my liver was starting to fail. They were concerned with my health and Said they would need to deliver the baby on Friday at 2pm.

I didn't know what to think. He was only 27 weeks. Was he going to make it? Was I? I had no idea what was going to happen. Bryan got there shortly after the doctor came in and was just as scared as I was. They moved me back to labor and delivery and gave me the meds that I needed. Then I was supposed to try and rest. Ha. I was so scared, I was up all night. 2pm Friday seemed like An eternity away.

2 o'clock came and they prepped us and took us back for surgery. I got a shot of anesthesia in my spine and Bryan was able to come in the room with me. The doctor was running late so I was freakong out that the numbness was going to wear off. She finally came and they started the csection. They started at 2:58 and he was born at 3:04. It was the wierdest feeling ever. I could feel them moving around inside of me. When they took jayden out, he cried a soft little cry. I cried. I couldn't believe it. They started putting me back together and Bryan got to cut his cord and take pictures of him. He was 1pound 11 ounces and 12.5 inches long. I've never seen anything so small. They immediately stuck a tube down his throat and took him up the the NICU.

After I was in recovery for a while, I was able to go see him. He was so tiny. I couldn't believe it. They put him in an incubator and put a Cpap machine on him. He was breathing on his own, so he didn't need oxygen or a ventilator. They put lights on him to prevent jaundice. I couldn't believe we created such a tiny little miracle.

We stayed in the hospital untill I was discharged today. My blood pressure stayed high, so I was sent home with medicine. Jayden has continued to shock all of the nurses. He has started to eat thru his feeding tube. Getting breast milk has been a challenge, but it's coming. Bryan has been so helpful and I am definitely blessed to have him in my life.

This is going to be an extremely rough next couple of months, but we will continue to take it day by day & pray for the best <3 he was sent here early for a reason.

Life

I am going to try my best to keep up with this now! My computer was broken for a while, i'll blame it on that.

So, i will start off with the most EXCITING news :) Bryan proposed in september! I couldn't be happier. I have a beautiful ring, and get to marry the love of my life! Since were doing everything backwards.. it's about time we got married! haha. We are getting married May 7th at the Windemier Hotel in Mesa. The girls are going to get their bridesmaid's dresses this weekend! I have pretty much everything all planned, and i just got my dress in yesterday! It is absolutely beautiful and just as I imagined :).I can't belive in four months i will be a WIFE! Reality is starting to set in and i'm getting stressed! But, I cant wait! I am so excited, and i wish it was just here already, but i'm enjoying the planning of it all.

In October, we went to New Mexico to visit my family for Halloween. It was so much fun! This was aliyahs first time going trick or treating & she did so good! I thought she was going to be scared and shy but she wasn't at all. She wanted to walk with the big kids and went to every house and said "trick or treat". She was adorable. We also took her to the children's museum there and the bouncy place. She loved it, and so did her daddy :)

November... I don't think much happened but Thanksgiving! Me, Aliyah, My mom & her fiance went to California to visit his family. Bryan could'nt go because of work. :( It was so pretty there. and FREEEEZING. We just hung out at Eddie's mom and dads most of the time. On Black Friday, Me and my mom went shopping! We got amazing deals at toys R us. Aliyah got spoiled. big time. & I got a new pair of jeans for 10 bucks at Wet Seal :) Scoooore. We left on Thursday at two in the morning and came home on Saturday. Even though we weren't gone that long, I missed Bryan like crazy! So i was glad to come home :)

Christmas is finally over! It was fun while it lasted, but i'm glad its done! My family was here for two weeks, staying with us. I loved them being here! Aliyah loved playing with all of the kids. They left on Monday :( poor Aliyah was so used to them being here,she didn't know what to do with herself. She was broken hearted! Aliyah got so many things for Christmas. We had to turn one of our extra rooms in to a play room so all of her stuff could fit! She got a new kitchen, a barbie quad, a princess ball pit, two tea sets, a princess table and chairs, a tinker bell table and chairs, a rocking horse, cleaning trolley, two baby dolls, a stroller, a baby carriage, a whole baby bed room set, play food, a barbie doll, puzzles, books and so much more! RIDICULOUS. I was up untill 3 am on Christmas Eve playing Santa! Where was Bryan you ask???? Toooo much Tequila! Buuut Christmas Day you knooow he was up bright and early to see what Santa brought ;) Christmas Day, we went to my grandma's for lunch and hung out, then went to Bryan's grandmas and ate again and opened presents :) We had a great christmas, but i'm glad its all over. :)

My little princess is going to be TWO this month :(. I cant believe it's been two years already. She is growing up so fast. She talks like a three year already, its hard to think shes only one. She is still just a little peanut though. With mine and Bryan's gene's, she really has no hope for being tall. :) but thats okay!

I Have to go now! Bath time! I will post more pictures later!
BYYYYE!

blaaaahblaaah..

Sorry

I havent posted in so long! It is so hard to keep up with this. I dont know where i left off last.. so i will start from what i remember. :)

My family was in town from New Mexico for the past two weeks. The first week I had to work, but the second week i took off! We didn't really do anything exciting, but we had fun! & My aunt brought three of her five kids along. That meannnns I rarely had to watch my child! bahahaha. They left on Sunday :( Goodbyes are so hard! It was definitely fun while it lasted.

Bryan finally got his promotion! He is now a service manager at wells fargo! Were so proud. :) Hopefully this means i can retire soon?! haha wishfull thinking! Aliyah is bigger & sassier than ever! She is the boss & she definitely knows it. She is up my butt 24/7. She doesn't seem to understand that mommy needs a break sometimes too. I mean, i love her & all, but its time to cut the cord! haha. She is so bossy & has quite the little attitude. its hard to believe she is only 18 months. Ahh they grow so fast :(

Got head butted in the mouth today by a fit throwing little girl. Definitely gave me a fat lip. haha. Well, my extremely high maintenanced little girl needs some TLC :) I will try to be better at writing!

buuusy busy busyy!

Sooo, I have been extremely busy, juggling work, school, aliyah && trying to keep up with my social life! A couple weeks ago, me and a friend took our kids to the Sea Life Aquarium. It was pretty cool. But, there were so many people, and it was so expensive, it almost wasn't even worth it. But, aliyah liked it :)

Fathers Day was a bittersweet day. Before Bryan woke up, Aliyah & I went to starbucks, & got him a double chocolate chip frap, sugar donuts & balloons. We came & woke him up with that & his presents. I made him a frame of a picture of him & aliyah with the lyrics from "all american girl" by Carrie underwood, got him a ESPN magazine cover made with a picture of him & aliyah in their suns jerseys, ties, socks, shirts & a movie. :) We then went to the cemetery & put flowers & balloons on my dads grave. That was the first time Aliyah had ever gone. Of course she didnt understand, but it was nice to have her there as well as Bryan. Then, we went to Bryan's parents house & ate & had a good time :)

Bryan is getting promoted to Service Manager! He's not sure which branch he will be moving to, but we are super excited & super proud of him :)

Aliyah got super sick last night about midnight & started throwing up. Litterally ALL NIGHT. So none of us got any sleep. This morning she threw up as well. She hadn't had a wet diaper since 5pm last night & couldn't keep anything down. So this morning, I took her to the doctor. I was so freaked out, and she was just as happy as can be. That made me ever more sad! The doctor almost sent us to the ER, since she hadn't had a wet diaper in 17 hours... but then she peed a little bit, THANK GOD! they said she has no bowel sounds in her stomach, which obviously isn't good. So, they gave us an antibiotic. She hasn't gotten sick since 7 this morning. So hopefully, tonight will be better. She gave us quite the scare!

the end.

Summers Birthday!

This weekend was a good one :) Friday I worked, of coooourse. After work, I cant remember what I did, so it must have not been too exciting!

Saturday Bryan had to work & I hung out with my mom for most of the morning. We went and got her a new phone, and went to Sams Club to get stuff for my baby brothers graduation party! I had to teach my mom how to text since her other phone didnt have texting. She was so excited it was so funny. My mom is finally with the times! I cant believe my little brother is graduating already! Craaazy how fast time goes. Anyways, later in the afternoon me, my best friend, and Aliyah went to the mall for a little bit. Aliyah played & I bought a shirt, necklace, & ear rings. :) Then I met Bryan at my grandmas & she watched Aliyah while we went on a date! We hardly ever get to go anywhere just the two of us, so it was nice. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings. Thats Bryan's favorite place! We picked Aliyah up after dinner then we got a redbox movie and came home & snuggled & watched movies. :)

Sunday, Bryans mom, dad & sister came over. Bryan & his dad cut our bushes and pulled weeds. Funnnn :) Me & Aliyah went shopping & got her a patio table. It is so cuuute. Its like a real patio set with a umbrella table, and two chairs. Its just miniature & disney princess of course. :) Me, Bryans sister, and Aliyah went to the park & ran through the sprinklers. :) Then we just hung out untill 3. Then it was Aliyahs friend, Summers birthday party! Aliyah was super confused when she saw that her teachers from daycare were there. She kept looking at me like, "you're not leaving me here, are you?!" hahah. But it was fun. Aliyah had fun playing with the kids. After the party, we came home & watched the game & LUCKILY the suns won or Bryan probably would have cried. haha.

It was a nice, relaxing weekend! I am only working Monday & Tuesday this week! Supppper excited about that. Wednesday, my family from New Mexico is coming & staying with us. they have five kids & a dog. So we will have a full house! But Aliyah will be occupied the whoooole time, so i'm excited! Thursday is my brothers graduation! I'm so proud of him. :)

Time for beddd! Last day of work tomorrow before my very much needed 5 day vacation.

GOODNIGHT all. :]

Soooo, Wednesday was Aliyah's 15 month check up. She is advanced for her age. :) She weighs 22 pounds & is 31 inches long. Shes growing :) finaaaally. Buuut she had to get 4 shots! Pooorrrr baby :( It was so sad & I was there by myself since Bryan had to work. I wanted to cry with her! Buut she was such a big girl, when she saw the star sunglasses & bracelet the doctor gave her, she stopped crying. Thenn we went to get ice cream :). That night, she was soo fussy & she was walking like her legs hurt, saying "baba peeeeeaaaseee" Sooo sad.. I almost caved & gave it to her! Buuuut i stayed strong. :)

I feel like Bryan & I NEVER see eachother, even though we live in the same house. By the time he gets home from work, I am so tired & ready for bed already! He works on Saturdays most of the time, so Sunday is really our only day to see eachother. It makes everything so difficult! I miss him. :(

I really have nothing interesting to write about. So I will stop now :)